Many people find the thought of crying out after sex scary, embarrassing, or just plain strange. But in actuality, it’s more common than you may think! In fact, it’s perfectly natural to cry after sex… for a number of reasons! But before we dive into them, let’s discuss the ins and outs of this occurrence.
Postcoital Dysphoria (PCD), or postcoital tristesse is the act of crying following sex. And because there’s little research on it, it’s hard to say how many people have, or continue to, experience it.
Despite the fact that there is not much research on the subject, One study on 230 women was conducted. However, it was found to be quite common with 46% of the people who were surveyed admitting to having suffered from PCD at some point in their lives.
Another research team specialized in The prevalence of PCD among males. They found that 41% of participants admitted to experiencing PCD at least once in their lifetime, with 3–4% having it be a recurring experience.
Which brings us to the next big question some may have…
Why do I cry after sex?
Laura Petiford, a marriage and family therapist:
“Sex may be the trigger for the tears, but it’s not necessarily about sex. Some of the factors that correlate with PCD include a disturbance of early bonding experiences with caregivers, difficulty developing a strong sense of self, struggling to regulate emotions, a history of sexual or other abuse, or relationship dissatisfaction.”
In this case, one’s subconscious may come into play after sex as a means to make one aware that there is something that needs to be processed. However, this is just one possibility. PCD may also be due to feelings of…
Crying after sex doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You could be releasing hormones. Happy tears, like when you’re You are completely connected to your partner—body, mind, and soul—or when you’ve just had the best sex of your life.
“Crying after an intense orgasmic release is a great reason to cry,” Claudia Six, clinical sexologist. “It may just be an additional release of energy, or joy and gratitude at having had such an ecstatic feeling. You can feel out of control, but it’s a release of tension.”
Feeling physically or mentally overwhelmed
Sometimes it’s necessary to engage in something intense and new. Role playing Or a different type of sexual fantasizingIt can be overwhelming when it is over.
The ride itself is a rollercoaster of emotions. One can feel excitement and anticipation as one travels. Arousal It can be thrilling to watch the excitement fade away and then come back to earth.
A crying response could occur if you experience something new or more intense than normal. If you squirt the first time, this could be a sign that your body is ready to experience it. Strongest climax Yet, or have Multiple orgasms.
Adversely, you could have built up sexual excitement so much that the experience itself doesn’t meet your expectations. This could cause frustration, and even tears.
Also, there are the role that one’s hormones play during sex. For example, when one climaxes, dopamine and oxytocin are released (the “love” hormones). These levels decrease after sex which can lead to feelings of sadness and isolation.
While there isn’t much research to indicate that those who’ve experienced past abuse are more prone to crying after sex, there Has Research has shown that abuse of any kind in childhood can cause sexual dysfunction in adulthood.
This could make sex a trigger for some and leave them feeling vulnerable and exposed. Following this, memories of traumatic experiences, or even displaying an emotional response due to the trauma before they’ve consciously acknowledged these memories, may occur.
Conditions such as dyspareunia Around 8% of women can experience pain during penetration. Although this could be a physical or mental condition, it can lead to unpleasant side effects like pain around the genitals or during sex. Vulva and labia. Inflammation of the pelvis. Lubrication, muscle spasms, or bladder problems.
Women could try to relieve their discomfort by changing their diet, getting regular massages for muscle spasm, or meditation. This could help create a more peaceful mental and physical state.
Subsequent Relationship Problems
Sometimes, it’s possible to sob after sex because of issues that are plaguing an individual inside or outside of the bedroom. Sex can be intimate and bring out deep emotions.
Six said that crying after sex is a sign of emotional distress “can be due to engaging in sex that didn’t feel good to her, physically or emotionally—or maybe she’s not with the partner she’d like to be with.”
You can’t help but feel the emotions
As mentioned, an orgasm has the power to create drastic changes in one’s mind and body. Some people find orgasm to be a way of life. Orgasm It can help with stress and emotional release.
Gigi Engle, a Sex Coach, describes her experiences with PCD in the following:
“Every time I orgasmed, it was like I was releasing the deep emotional anguish of my failing relationship. It was depressing, difficult, and sad. Instead of riding a wave of pleasure, I would roll over and quietly weep until I fell asleep, lost in my own head and heartache.”
Sometimes, it can be therapeutic to let go of your emotions after having sex. It’s actively letting go of pent-up emotions and allowing them to dissipate. Of course, this isn’t always the case for those who experience PCD.
Stress, Fear and Anxiety
Crying is a common response to fear and anxiety, regardless of the circumstances. But when one is plagued with stress during intercourse, it can be hard to “switch off” and really focus on the here-and-now.
During sex, one’s body might be in the act, while the mind wanders. This can lead to frustration, and even death. More Anxiety after sex can cause one to weep.
Some stress points could be sex-related like performance anxiety, which can lead to serious health problems. Study revealed affects around 6–15% of women and 9–25% of men). A link was found between males who suffer from stressful sexual issues like erectile dysfunction PCD.
Stress or anxiety can also cause crying after sex.
Shame and guilt surround sexual activity
There are many reasons that someone may feel unwell. Feelings of guilt or shame about sex. They might have been taught that sex is wrong, evil, or dirty growing up. Perhaps they believe it is shameful (before marriage), or have had bad sexual experiences that made them feel ashamed or guilty.
Sometimes it could be a more internal struggle like self-confidence. or body issues, or feeling as though the kinds of sexual acts one is interested in don’t align with their values or morals. These are all reasons to have a negative relationship with sex. They could also be the reason one is prone to crying after sex.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, there is such a thing called “dacryphilia”. This is when someone feels aroused by watching someone else cry or experiencing the emotional release that comes with crying.
Can the sight of someone else crying trigger arousal?
Mark D. Griffiths, Ph.D. and Richard Greenhill conducted a small study to determine why tears might induce arousal.
Their study consisted of only 8 test subjects in the U.S., which doesn’t make for a big or global conclusion on the matter, but still provides some insight.
Their study revealed that 4 subjects expressed their dacryphiliac tendencies primarily in the form compassion. They loved comforting criers. Three subjects were able to be aroused by the idea of dominance/submission, i.e. Making someone cry or having another person make them cry. One test subject discovered that they were aroused by someone curling their lips during crying.
Having said that, there’s yet to be more expansive research on the matter.
The act of crying is normal human behavior in response to a variety of stimuli. Crying after sex happens and it’s not something to be ashamed about. Instead, it’s a good idea to dig deeper and find the root cause of the crying. This will make you emotionally stronger and more satisfied with your sexual partner.