All About International Kinky Day and the Praise Kink

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International Kinky Day is celebrated once a year on September 21st, but you can keep coming back all year. It’s a day where all kinky-minded people come together to share and act out their desires for 24-hours.

This year, we’re dedicating it to the praise kink and answering all your questions about incorporating some non-traditional sex acts into your routine.

international kinky day praise kink

You might not even know that you have a praise kink, but if you like when your partner is telling your how good of a girl or a boy you are when you’re having sex, then it might be it. 

While most people enjoy words of affirmation and praise during sex, as it’s always nice to hear that you please your partner the way they like, having a praise kink and enjoying nice words are not quite the same. 

Sex and relationship blogger Emma Austin explains it best, “Everyone loves praise, but not everyone gets off to it.”

What is a Praise Kink?

Before we can discuss the definition of a praise kink, it is important to first understand what kink actually is. Most people believe that kinks are part of BDSM play, but it doesn’t always have to be. 

Robert Weiss, Ph.D. is a digital-age relationship and intimacy expert. Writes, “I tend to define Kinks as non-traditional sexual behaviors that people sometimes use to spice things up, but that they can take or leave depending on their partner, their mood, etc.”

A kink is anything that gives you sexual satisfaction other than vanilla sex, such as being praised by your partner in bed. 

The difference between those who like praises and those who don’t is the fact that praise kinks experience a sexual response to praises. 

It’s also important to note that everyone is different and can experience the praise kink differently. Enjoying praises in the bedroom doesn’t always have to mean that you’re the submissive partner. Even dominant partners can praise each other. 

Sometimes, just a few words of praise can be enough to make someone feel better. One Reddit user shared his experience with his wife’s praise kink as, “If I’m fucking her mouth and tell her she’s a “good girl,” she can, under some circumstances, orgasm right then — the simultaneous feel of a cock in her mouth and the praise for sucking it (or just taking it) well is enough to get her off.”

Your Praise Kink is Rooted in the Roots

Sadly, sex experts and therapists don’t have a straightforward explanation as to why people like what they do when it comes to their sexual kinks and fetishes. 

Samuel HughesA psychologist at the University of California Santa Cruz, Professor, has created a model of kink formation that allows us to better understand how certain types of kinks evolve as people age. 

Samuel noticed that some kinky people use kinks to cope with past trauma. He This explains, “Many of those who reported trauma and hardship talked about kink as a way to relive that hardship with a sense of healing and mastery over it.”

Austin shares that her praise kink might stem from her “daddy issues.” On her blog (1), she shares, “I was raised by a man who I could never please, who would never reassure me, and never gave me any encouragement. So, in some ways, I’m always looking for the nurturing figure I never had.

It’s amazing to me to be able to earn praise and recognition from someone I love. It satisfies an emotional craving I’ve had my entire life.”

As far as kinks and fetishes go, most sexual kinks and fantasies are harmless and healthy, as long as they’re practiced and experienced in a safe environment with two (or more) consenting individuals. 

How to communicate with your partner about your kink

If you’re in a new relationship or if you only have been engaging in vanilla sex with your long-term partner so far, it might seem impossible to venture outside your comfort zone and share your praise kink. 

Good news: Praise kink is more gentle than some of the other kinks, so it’s easier to talk about your needs with your partner. 

It is a good place to begin would be to take a love language test Together, you can discover which love language you share with your partner. It’s an activity that many couples do, and it’s a fun way to connect and learn something new about each other. 

If you have a praise kink, the chances are that your primary love language is words of affirmations, or at least, it’s one of the dominant languages for you. That’s a perfect way to start the conversation about what you enjoy in bed and what your partner could do for you. 

Both can check What sexual things should you include? into your bedroom according to your love language, and once you’re set on exploring new things, it’s time to make a list of things to try. 

How to incorporate the praise kink into your sex life

Praise doesn’t always have to come in the forms of phrases such as “good girl” or “good boy.” There are many different ways to praise your partner and make them hot and bothered:

Different Phrases

As you enjoy some sexy fun, praise your partner. If they’re going down on you, makes sure you let them know how well they’re doing or how amazing their actions make you feel. 

Even if you’re having regular missionary sex, you can easily incorporate a little bit of praise by telling your partner how much they turn you on or how amazing their body feels together with yours. 

To help you get started, try different versions of any one of these phrases:

  • “Good boy/girl.”
  • “You’re doing/you did really well.”
  • “You look so sexy when you go down on your knees for me.”
  • “I’m so proud of you.”
  • “That feels amazing. Keep doing that.”
  • “Your ass looks incredible in those panties.”
  • “You’re so good at eating my pussy.”
  • “Keep being good for me.”
  • “That’s good. Let’s see the rest.”
  • “Mhm, such a precious love you are.”

These are just some examples of phrases that you can use when sexing with a partner who is a praise kink. 

You should remember that everyone reacts to different phrases differently so you can experiment with different versions to find the one that resonates with your partner. 

Physical Praise

All praise does not have to be verbal. While it’s easiest to start with words of affirmation and encouragement, when you and your partner are ready, it might be worth experimenting with physical praise such as petting or fluffing your partner’s hair. 

The way you touch your partner’s body as you’re praising them with words also matters. Match the verbal praise with eager touches, worshipping of your partner’s body as all of it also might play into them feeling high on their emotions. 

Mixing physical and verbal praise can create a sexy experience for your partner. 

There are other types of expressions

Sometimes gentle touches and words are not the best way to communicate how you feel about your partner. When the time is right, making sounds, gasping, and moaning in pleasure at your partner’s hands/lips/genitals can also be a form of praise.

They make you feel so good that you’re left speechless, only able to gasp, moan their name, and fist the sheets as they’re working sexual magic on your body. This is a great way for your partner to be appreciated. 

Again, everyone is different so it may not work for all. If they say that listening to you grunt and moan as they delight you is enough for them, you can praise them in another way. 




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