Our romantic relationships are a major focus of our lives, and with good reason.
Romance is a source of inspiration, joy, and a sense of the fiery rush that comes with being alive.
Romance, however, isn’t always easy to find, especially amidst a pandemic with off-and-on lockdowns. Even dating apps can present a difficult and confusing terrain.
How do you create more romance in your daily life?
You get resourceful and use what you’ve got.
There is a good chance that you have at most one friend who shares your needs and seeks more romance in your life.
How can you get deeper into your relationship to meet your needs and build a deeper bond?
Platoonic romance, of course.
What is Platonic Romance exactly?
Many people were raised in societies that frowned on intimacy. If this is you, you may only associate intimacy with people you are sexual with or get apprehensive about being “too touchy” with friends.
These clear lines of what different kinds of relationships should and shouldn’t look like held so many people back from exploring different dynamics.
As younger generations start to push these boundaries with different kinds of relationships and dynamics, they make space for everyone to get more out of all of their relationships, not just the ones traditionally deemed “romantic”.
What is platonic love?
Like any other concept, platonic romance can be defined in a variety of ways. Generally, it’s a type of relationship where you’re diving deeper into the dynamic than you may with other friendships but are not sexual with each other.
It’s most likely different from a romantic relationship that’s Asexual because there isn’t that sense of eros love, which feels sensual and passionate.
Although you may have a shared commitment, it may not be as strong as other close friendships.
Again, these are all nuanced and may vary from person-to-person.
Benefits of Platonic Romance
You probably don’t need convincing, but here are some added benefits to having platonic romantic relationships in your life:
Intimacy isn’t just about sex or even physical connection like cuddling.
Intimacy is the extent to which you can open up to someone and let yourself be metaphorically, and sometimes physically, held by them – and vice versa.
Platonic romance lets you explore intimacy without having to be in a relationship.
This is especially beneficial if you’re burnt out on romance, or are abstaining from sexual relationships with other people for whatever reason.
Platonic romance can fulfill that vital human need of connection, and meet you where you’re at in your life.
You already trust the person
Platooning romantic relationships with someone you already know can have the benefit of already having a layer of trust.
To be able openly with someone, trust is essential. It is easier to explore the romantic elements when you have established trust.
Gender Doesn’t Matter
Gender and sexuality have completely different experiences for each person.
If you have only experienced heterosexual relationships and would like to see more, platonic romance is a great way to get a glimpse at what it might look like.
That being said, gender shouldn’t and doesn’t matter no matter what kind of relationship you’re in.
How to get your Platonic Romance on
If you’re intrigued by the idea of platonic romance but don’t know where to start, we’ve got you covered.
These are some tips to help you explore platonic love:
Know your boundaries
Before you bring new energies into your relationship, you’ll have to check in with yourself about what your boundaries are, and do the same with your person.
Do you and your partner feel at ease cuddling up or holding hands?
Are there topics you don’t want to talk about?
Are there certain lines you don’t want to cross?
These are all important things to keep in mind.
Be open with your partner and yourself when boundaries change.
Don’t be afraid to share your feelings
Sometimes, when we dig deeper into our relationships, new feelings emerge.
If this happens to you, communicate that with your person, and ask them where they’re at, and if they’d like to re-evaluate the relationship.
Being open about your feelings doesn’t just mean your feelings towards the person. It can be all of your feelings, or just the ones you desire to share.
Platonic romance is an opportunity to share more of yourself and say what’s on your mind and in your heart, as well as what your needs are in relationships – specifically this one.
Don’t miss this chance.
Use the Love Languages
Do you know what your person’s love language is? Or your own?
It is possible to add more romance to your relationship through the use of love languages.
These are just a few examples.
- Words of affirmation You can write a note to them or a poem describing all the wonderful things about them.
- Acts of Service: Give them their favorite dish.
- Quality time Enjoy a sunset picnic.
- Physical touch Give them a hug or a gentle massage.
- Gifts to be received Surprise them with sweet, thoughtful gifts such as a tea or candle.
Things to Keep in Mind About Platonic Romance
Whether you like to call it platonic romance or not, you might have realized that your friendships have elements of platonic love. Or maybe you’re getting a better idea of what you can offer in your platonic relationships, as well as what to ask for to get more from each other.
As with any kind of relationship, there’s no one right way to practice platonic romance. It’s up to you and your loved one to figure out what that container looks like, how you want to navigate it, and what boundaries are there.
Respect boundaries, voice your needs, and be truthful. You can get more from life through platonic romance.
Natasha (she/her), is a full-spectrum doula, a reproductive health content creator, as well as a sexual wellness consultant. Her work is focused on removing the stigma and shame surrounding birth and sex and helping people to live more sensually, softly, and pleasure. Natasha.s.weiss can be reached via IG.