Frequently Asked Pegging Questions with Dr. Zhana

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Hello everyone! This is Dr. Zhana. There were so many questions. I love the curiosity of everyone about it. We are now done. 

dr zhana pegging frequently asked questions

What is pegging exactly?

First things first – what is pegging? A strap-on is a device that allows you to penetrate someone with a harness and a dildo. A harness-free dildo or a handheld vibrator can be used to peg. This is a great option. This term is commonly used to mean anal penetration. However, you can also peg someone vaginally.

Are men allowed to use it?

No! That’s the greatest thing about pegging! It’s an equal opportunity lover, it doesn’t matter what your gender or genitals are. Everyone can wear a strap on and everyone has an ass that can get a strap. I’ve pegged men, women, trans folks, you name it. And I’ve been pegged by folks with vaginas and penises.

My wife is very anxious about it. Thinks it’s odd for a guy to want to be penetrated.

This is the most serious problem with pegging, particularly in heterosexual relationships. Either the men think it’s “gay” to want to be penetrated or the women think it’s odd or “gay” for their male partner to want to be penetrated. This is really sad. 

It is a fact that it is not gay to want to be penetrated. It doesn’t matter what gender or sexual orientation the ass has, an ass is an ats. Some people love to have their asses stimulated. It feels incredible! and some people don’t. Plenty of gay men don’t like to be penetrated and plenty of straight men do! It is time to separate the idea of heterosexuality or masculinity from your sexual preferences. You are missing out on so much pleasure. 

Strong feeling my husband wants to try this and I’m not about it. What is the best way to reach a compromise?

It’s hard to answer this question without knowing why you were apprehensive about it and how much flexibility you might have around that. But there are so many different forms of butt play that you could incorporate that is not full-on pegging: There’s ass licking, fingering, butt plugs etc. You could also ask your partner to meet you with a professional dominatrix if you are open to it.

Are you finding it harder when [a] Man has his hair down there. Or is it irrelevant

Nah, it’s irrelevant. It’s really a personal preference. Some people like hair, some people don’t like hair. The strap-on can be worn inside the ass without any problem.

What’s in it for the one doing the pegging?

That’s a great question and I think the answer is going to depend from person to person. I can tell you what it does for me – I love the visuals from that different angle and perspective. I love the role reversal – I like being penetrated but I also sometimes like to be the one penetrating. Especially with pegging men, I love knowing that the man I’m penetrating has freed himself from the societal bullshit that tells him he shouldn’t want that. And there’s also direct stimulation to my clit in certain positions that I get as well. 

Do you have to be a domme if you’re pegging? 

People often think pegging has to be done in this domination/submission context, but it really doesn’t. You can certainly do it that way, and it’s a lot of fun! But I’ve also had partners that were very dominant, they just wanted to get fucked in the ass. 

Just recently I began prostate play. Does pegging feel like a next-level sensation to me?

Welcome to the world prostate play! I’m so envious, I wish I had a prostate so I knew what that felt like! Pegging is a possible next step in that journey. Doesn’t have to be, you can explore your prostate in other ways, but it certainly can.

My male partner showed an interest in pegging. Fun! How do we start?

Pegging men is an anal form of sex. As with all forms, it’s best to start slowly. You might also consider other anal activities such as ass licking, rimming, fingers and butt plugs. 

What is LELO’s recommendation for a toy for pegging and harnesses?

Lelo makes vibrators and prostate massagers like these three that I love – Billy, Hugo, and Loki. LELO doesn’t make nonvibrating dildos and harnesses.

A prostate massager might be a great tool to help you get into a pegging class.

Absolutely!

First-time positions?

I tend to start either in missionary, because you can see your partner and how they’re reacting, or from behind. Both styles give the pegger (the person pegging) a lot of control. Cowgirl/boy-style is great for those who want more control. 

How can I begin a conversation with my boyfriend about wanting him to be pegged?

I would probably start not with pegging but with something that’s like ass licking or having a finger. I often ask partners if they like their ass played with, and/or as I’m going down on them, I’ll make my way toward their butt and see how they react to that. The reaction is usually positive. 

How can you bring up the subject with a partner for a long time, even though there is no mention of it?

There are many different ways you can bring it up. It’s important to ask it or offer it with enthusiasm. For example, “There’s been something I’ve been thinking / fantasizing about…” or “There’s something we’ve never done that’s a huge turn-on for me, it would be so hot to do it”. 

If they’re not immediately enthusiastic, be patient, give them some time to mull it over and bring it up some other time. Talk about how much anal play means to you, and so forth. 

And it’s always a good idea to educate yourself and your partners as much as possible and destigmatize it for people who might have hang-ups about it for whatever reasons. Perhaps you’d like to watch porn together and find an article or sex-positive organization that you can join. 




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