If I had to pinpoint the most enjoyable thing that’s happened to the world of sex since the internet came on the scene, it’s that folks these days are always cooking up fresh ways to talk about the things we get up to when we’re getting down. Reddit and Twitter seem to show that sexuality is a constant revolving door of new toys, acts, and terms.
One of the most popular phrases in recent weeks is “rainbow kiss.” The rainbow kiss. Although the term was first mentioned in the Urban Dictionary a decade ago, it has since taken the internet by storm. You want to know the truth? Here’s just about everything you need to know about a rainbow kiss – and how to instigate one with your beau tonight.
What’s a rainbow kiss?
If you’re like me, your first thought when you heard “rainbow kiss” was that it had to do Pride. And if you’re like me, you’d be wrong. It’s also not to be confused with the mid-2000s Scottish play by the same name. Here, the kind of rainbow kiss we’re talking about is a consenting act between two people who want to explore their intimacy in a whole new light.
Like many names we throw around for sex acts, the definition of a rainbow kiss varies depending on who you’re talking to. It usually refers to one of two different things that are pretty similar – but with one key twist.
To some people, a rainbow kiss is simply when someone goes down on their partner while they’re on their period. They then kiss their partner, with their bloody faces. By eating someone out while they’re on their period before making out, both parties get that signature red smear. This is the definition of a rainbow-colored kiss for some.
The rainbow kiss is for others. On top of oral during someone’s period, the person on their period the returns the favor by giving their partner a blowjob until they orgasm. The two partners then kiss, mixing the fluids together in a sticky makeout.
Supposedly, it’s the color of those two fluids mixing together that gives the kiss its colorful name.
What’s so appealing about a rainbow kiss?
The problem with most “sex articles” about kinks is that they’re chock full of judgment and negativity about particular kinks or fetishes – especially if it involves anything deviating from vanilla missionary between two straight folks. If the Twitter world’s reaction to the words “rainbow kiss” tells you anything, it’s that a lot of folks struggle to see the appeal of this kind of makeout.
But the thing is, kinks and unique ways of lovin’ are everywhere – and humans have experimented sexually since the dawn of time. This unique shared experience is not only for people who are impulsive, but also for many other reasons.
Photographs of intimate portraits of couples who have had period sex together may help you to understand the temptation to kiss in a rainbow. Photographer Nolwen Cifuentes This is an especially beautiful area. photo essay In Salty World That exposes the joys as well as the normalcy of having sex while bleeding. Society tells people to be ashamed of having sex. People who have periods get twice as much flack, especially since it is believed that they are dirty or gross. Period sex can actually be used as a way to honor your body in all its variations.
Like all types of sex, your period can be sex in many different ways. Some people find it difficult to accept sex while they are bleeding. Others may feel more comfortable sharing their bodily fluids and sex with others.
The intimacy of a rainbow-colored kiss is what makes it so special. Typically, it’s not something folks do with a rando from Tinder (although it’s totally fine if they do). The ability to trust your partner enough for fluid swaps is a very personal experience. It adds another layer of connection.
Don’t get me wrong, though. Some people are not motivated by a rainbow kiss. Sometimes blood can be sexy. Rainbow kisses offer a way to have fun with blood, even if you don’t want to cut skin or use knives in the bedroom. All blood play comes with risks, but menstrual blood is something that won’t send you to the hospital if you’re too clumsy for knife play.
Likewise, some folks don’t just have a blood fetish, but a bodily fluids fetish – and that’s where the semen comes into play. If you’re all about the sweet and slick parts of getting sexy, then you might love taking the exchange beyond swallowing alone and letting the semen linger in your mouth before passing it back to your partner while they give you some of your own blood.
A rainbow kiss might also appeal to people because of the thrill associated with taking risks. If people are engaging in rainbow kisses casually, this appeal might be even more compelling. Some people find that risk-aware consensual (RACK) can get the blood flowing literally and metaphorically. Even though it may not look like it, a rainbow smile fits the RACK criteria. That’s because swapping fluids comes with its own set of warning labels.
What are the dangers of rainbow kissing?
There are many sex acts that can be both high-risk and rushy, but a rainbow kiss isn’t one of them.
Because you’re not only sharing semen, but also sharing blood, it isn’t just STIs or HIV to worry about; hepatitis is also a possibility you need to consider. Over at “The Body”, an HIV/AIDS resource page, MSPH Rick Sowadsky Particularly addresses the risks of blood exchanges, saying that “if you drink the blood of a person who is infected with HIV, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and other bloodborne diseases (whether they are showing symptoms or not), you would… be at a significant risk for these diseases.” The bit about whether they’re showing symptoms or not is important: someone may seem healthy while still having these diseases in their blood. That’s why discussing past testing history and risk factors is a pivotal part of the rainbow kiss equation. Sowadsky goes on to stress that “the more blood you drink, and the more times you drink another person’s blood, the greater the risk of infection.”
Translation: it’s much, much better to be safe than sorry. Any risks you take are yours to take, and there’s no shame in that, but it’s crucial to give your partners the same honesty you’d expect from them. Before you start a rainbow-colored kiss, tell your partners all about your HIV and Hepatitis history. Keeping that information from partners means that you aren’t giving them space to give informed consent – which is something that no GGG, exploratory kinkster should ever do.
However, you can still take precautions, even in casual settings to minimize the risk and make sure everyone is having a good time. Make sure you get tested before you go on a rainbow kiss. Because it’s a sure-fire way to contract a bloodborne disease, get tested for the things that a standard STD clinic might not check for as well, like HIV and Hepatitis B (HBV) or Hepatitis C (HCV).
How can I get my partner to try it with me?
It is easy to imagine a new kink in your private moments, but inviting your partner to try it is another. Many people will agree that asking for help is the most difficult part of learning something new. This goes beyond the logistics and coordination of schedules.
Is it possible to take something we have in fantasy and bring it into reality? Sometimes, it is easier to keep our dreams hidden in fantasy land.
But here’s the thing: you never know what sexy thoughts are spinning in your partner’s head – and writing them off before you ask about a new kink is just as unfair as them writing you off. Your partner may have found the exact same article and been equally intrigued. And you’ll never know – unless you ask.
No matter how much we may want something like a rainbow kiss, telepathically transmitting that fact to your partner in a series of eyebrow waggles won’t accomplish much. A good chat is the only thing that will bring you to your best sex life.
Talking about sex is a common topic between partners. You can simply snuggle up and bring up the possibility of trying something new. But if you’re not used to talking about sex with your lovers, then having these tender conversations might feel a little harder to come by. Even so, it’s well within your reach.
You must set the mood to have a great sex conversation about your fantasies. Be relaxed and enjoy the moment. Make sure you’re both wrapped up in each other and focusing only on the two of you – no dinner you’re cooking or television show in the background allowed. Also, ensure that you are sober and not having sex with your partner. Asking them about their fantasies is a good way to start the conversation. Even if they’re shy, getting the ball rolling by opening the door will help you both start talking. Let the conversation flow by listening to their fantasies. Once you feel comfortable, you can mention the new act that you have read.
One of the best things to do is to tell them that they can think about the sex act for a while before deciding whether they’re open to it. Your lovers will be able to let go of their instinctive reactions and allow you to give them space. You can help your lovers feel more at ease by gradually increasing the amount of the event. There are many moving pieces to consider here: oral while on a period; kissing with a bleeding mouth; swallowing cum; kissing after an invasive blowjob and before swallowing; kissing after an invasive blowjob and before swallowing. It may be a good idea to add one element at a while over several sessions so you can get used to the idea.
This is not a good idea. Because you’re exchanging fluid, a surprise rainbow kiss (even if you give them just one half of the equation) violates their boundaries.
Don’t be afraid to speak out! Share your fantasy with your partner and remain open-minded during your conversation. Remember that there’s no shame in how you get sexy, regardless of how niche it is or how many vanilla folks on Twitter turn their noses up at it. So long as you and your partner communicate about sex from beginning to end, you’re going about it in exactly the right way.
Don’t be shy!
Rainbow kisses might not be something people talk about but it is something you should try. Then, set the mood and introduce your partner to this idea. Let the magic begin. To get the most from this new kink, you can always begin slow and build up to it.
Have you ever tried a rainbow-colored kiss? Leave us your best tips and tricks in the comments.
Nikita, a PDX-based writer, applies a queer and sex-positive lens on everything she touches, including articles about foot fetishes and new song lyrics. She can be found writing her novel, creating music, being involved in community theater or just generally being a complete ham when she is not sex-writing.