March 20th marks International Day of Happiness, and we’re dedicating the latest research to sex and happiness, that is, why sex makes us feel good and what we can do to have sex that makes us happy.
What does it mean to be sexual?
One might ask, “What does sex really mean for a woman?” What does sex really mean for men? What does sex look like for different ages? The truth is that sex has different meanings for different people at different stages in their lives. We can learn some basic ideas from relationship and social psychologists.
If there are more than half of the problems in a relationship that isn’t resolved, then sex may be absent. Most often, when one partner can’t get over an issue, they begin to feel used and decide to no longer engage. Two main reasons for sex at its most basic social level are 1. to get something and 2. to share emotions. If you and your partner have mismatched views on sex, say you want sex and your partner doesn’t, you need to ask yourself WHY you want sex. There are many reasons you might want to have sex.
- Increase self-esteem
- Relax and let go of tension or stress
- Feel loved and give love
- Create an emotional connection
- Feel powerful
- Feel complete
The best thing you can do, if you’re even looking this question up, is to take responsibility of your reasons to have or want to have sex. That way you can share your reason with your partner in a mutually satisfying way.
What makes us feel good about ourselves?
We must first look at sex as a biological phenomenon to understand why it makes us feel good. The body releases four mood-altering hormones, oxytocin dopamine serotonin and serotonin. You’ve probably heard of some of these because they’re directly related to happiness levels.
The limbic system, which controls emotions, activates when brain activity is analysed during arousal. There are also more obvious effects of arousal, such as an increase in heartbeat or increased sensitivity to certain parts of the body like the erogenous areas. The act of arousal is basically preparing you to have sex.
Orgasm releases oxytocin. Oxytocin isn’t just a “love hormone” that makes sex emotional, it also helps us establish trust and closeness with our partner.
A Study Research on 3,800 Chinese adults revealed that the most happy people had not only frequent sex but also had a high level of happiness. Qualitative sex. How can you have sex?
Self-efficacy & Communication
Self-efficacy can be defined as the ability to enjoy sexual pleasure. Arousal may be more prevalent in traditional gender roles, where the man provides for the family and has sex. A new study however, shows that arousal is not only present in traditional gender roles where a man provides for the family and intiates sex. Study suggests that the frequency of sex is not affected by couples’ views on gender roles. Their initiation and accomplishment of sex was what made the difference, as is their quality.
Couples who have more traditional roles in gender or sex will be more self-confident for their male partners, who are the ones driving intimacy. They are less likely to be able to support women who might feel restricted from achieving their sexual desires. Many jokes have been made about men having more sex when they do housework. Research It is believed that gender display is more important then sex as a marital exchange.
A Study The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships conducted a study that found open sexual communication, long-term relationships, and gender all significantly increase relationship satisfaction. However, this was not necessarily a sign of sexual satisfaction. Instead, the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that sexual satisfaction mediates the relationship between open sexual communication (and overall relationship satisfaction).
This is the most important lesson to be taken away. Talking about sexual desires and preferences makes it easier to have better sex and orgasm more. It also makes us happier. It sounds like a win/win situation to us.
Donna is a Volonté contributor and freelancer who lives in San Francisco with her understanding husband and not-so-understanding teenage sons. Her work has been published by The Journal of Sexology. She is currently working on a book on love language.