What does it mean to say “female sexual empowerment”?
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Female presenting can be very stressful. If you want too much you’re a slut, if you don’t want it enough then you’ll be called a prude. We just can’t win. This kind of judgment has caused many people to live less than their best sexual lives.
Traditionally, those who identify as female may have taken a submissive role in the bedroom, they may have prioritised their partner’s pleasure above their own, or been made to feel ashamed for what they like sexually. The view of feminine sexuality is changing and female presenting people are finding empowerment to enjoy their sexual bodies.
We tend to imagine a lot of leather when we hear the phrase female sexual empowerment. whips Although this may seem like a dominatrix or two, it is not what we mean. While taking a more dominant role in the bedroom may be just up your alley, feeling sexually empowered is about valuing your own pleasure as much as your partner’s, letting go of shame and embracing your unique sexual tastes.
We asked our female Lovehoney experts to discuss International Women’s Day and to give their opinions on how to feel empowered in the bedroom.
Chantelle Otten
Chantelle Otten A psycho-sexologist, she is passionate about helping people feel confident about their sexuality and self-esteem. She discusses the importance and benefits of vulva education.
Knowledge is power when it comes to your vascula. But, there is a lack of education about what’s going on ‘down there’, information that should have been taught at school.
If I was to ask most people what’s going on ‘down there’ for a woman, they would say ‘vagina’. These people are not passing the test. I don’t know how we got to a place where we started naming these things wrong, but the vagina is just one part of the vulva owner’s anatomy and definitely not the whole area.
It just goes to show that most people don’t know much about female genitalia or the anatomical structure. Maybe it’s because those who have a penis have genitals which are external and are easily seen when naked but for those who have vulvas, these genitals are more hidden and difficult to see, and not encouraged to be explored.
This must change. We deserve basic body knowledge. To be able to identify these areas, you will need to know how to touch them, where to hold your vibrator, and where to tell your partner to touch you.
The proper name for the outer genitals, or vulva is the skin that touches the underwear.
The vulva is comprised of all your external parts, including your pleasure centre, the clitoris (which includes your small flaps), your labia minora (which covers your skin between your legs), your urethra (which contains your pee hole), and your vaginal opening.
The vulva comes in all shapes and sizes, no vulva is the same – it’s kind of like a snowflake. Many people have never seen theirs so I urge you to take a look at yours and label it.
Get to know and love your bits. Take care of your bits. They are the key to sexual pleasure.
Tracey Cox
Tracey Cox She is also a best-selling author. This is her open letter to heterosexual men, on behalf of all vulva owners, about eight things you need to learn to love better.
About Our Libido
There are three myths about women and sex that the majority of people – and especially men – think are true. The first is that women have a greater sex drive than men. The second is the fact that monogamy is more difficult for men that it is for women. The third is the fact that men tend to get bored faster with routine sex than do women.
These statements are false.
Recent research shows that female desire is quite different from what we thought. It doesn’t like tame, it likes risk. It doesn’t want romance, it wants lust. Female desire is primal. Way more primal than society thinks.
We do say no to sex more often than you do, but it’s not because our libidos are low. It’s because we’re not given permission to explore our ‘dirty’ side, like you are. It turns out that cultural restrictions are removed and women can go at it like rabbits.
One caveat. One condition: The sex must be fun and erotic.
Give us boring, dull, repetitive sex and you bet we’ll turn to face to wall. Give us interesting, edgy, erotic sex, however, and we’ll be well up for it.
Lovehoney research found that a third of women break up with their lover in order to increase their sexual happiness. This is compared to only a fifth of men.
Contrary to popular belief being in bed with your partner is more important for women than it is for men.
Learn More About Our Orgasms
It is often discussed how difficult it can be for women to have an affair. But most women can orgasm in less than five minutes with the right tool, technique and lover (preferably one that vibrates).
You can achieve this with skill, sensitivity, and practice female orgasm It can be just as simple as yours.
What doesn’t work to make women orgasm is the bog-standard thrusting technique nearly all men use during intercourse. Orgasms are triggered by the clitoris.
You can stimulate the hidden parts of your clitoris by keeping your pelvis near ours and maintaining pressure. Also, use a circular grinding motion against your pelvis.
This vulva friendly manoeuvre is much more effective in guiding us through to having sex. It is even better to use your tongue, fingers, or vibrator prior, during, and after penetrative sexual sex.
How to Fake It
Yes, one of your previous partners (if not most) have done it and no, you couldn’t and can’t tell. Recent research has proved that it’s impossible to know for certain if a woman experienced an orgasm.
There are some clues: a flushed face, a red rash that can appear and disappear quickly on the chest or neck, vaginal contractions, a rapid heart rate and a clitoris that’s sensitive to touch directly afterward are some of the signs.
But, they’re not reliable.
The only way to guarantee she’s having a real orgasm and not faking one is to make it abundantly clear it won’t be an issue if she doesn’t orgasm.
Not in a ‘I know it’s really difficult for women’ way – you already know that isn’t true. An acknowledgment that women have needs. clitoral stimulation To orgasm.
For it to happen, give us lots of (good) oral sex That lasts a while. You can touch us with lubricated hands. You can show how comfortable you feel with yourself by suggesting using a vibrator during intercourse.
Continue reading Tracey’s blog here.
Dr Megan Fleming
A world-famous speaker and clinician Dr Megan FlemingShe specializes in sex, relationships. Here, she talks about the women who helped to make it possible for you to have sexual joy.
Women who have been pioneers in sexuality for decades have changed the world. We are now having discussions about the orgasm gap, and how we can close it.
Betty Dodson
Betty Dodson, an inspiring pioneer who taught women that they can enjoy their pleasure, died this year.
Affectionately known by the name of the Mother Of Masturbation she single-handedly launched hitachi magic wand and made it the Queen of vibrators.
Sex For One was her first book. She encouraged women to have their own pleasure and taught them how to masturbate for over five decades.
Quoted this past May, in the New York Times (because of course Betty even at 90 she was weighing in on current events) as saying: “You are your safest sex partner in this pandemic.”
Betty was one of the first women to openly reveal their turn-ons. She taught us that adult sex is a place to have fun.
Rosemary Basson
Rosemary Basson from Canada is another strong voice for female sexuality. She found that women’s sexual response cycle isn’t linear and that there are two equally valid ways to experience desire; spontaneous and responsive.
This finding is huge as it empowers women to know that even if they aren’t feeling it, or in the mood, if they create the right conditions and have a sense of willingness, being open and receptive to pleasure, arousal kicks in and then to sexual desire.
I have my clients ask themselves, what’s one small thing you can say yes to? Sometimes, all it takes to get your desire fulfilled is one yes.
Shamyra Howard
Shamyra Howard She is an internationally recognized sexologist who has won numerous awards. She discusses the importance female voices in the field of sexual wellness.
Our industry is the industry that has led in female empowerment.
In a world where women aren’t always acknowledged as human and important, it is validating that these spaces are affirming.
We have seen the transformative power of female empowerment. This is especially true for stories that highlight pleasure. Pleasure is an act that resists and this industry provides the space to help us increase our pleasure.
Many vulva owners have been conditioned that their body is for their partner’s consumption, or something is wrong with them if they have to use toys to orgasm.
We can now teach better practices and unlearn the misinformation we are collaborating with through educational empowerment. It’s even better that the information is for us, by us.
One of the main reasons why female empowerment is crucial to the advancement and development of our society is because of the historical psychological damage that’s plagued communities for so long.
Sex is usually taboo. Think about how it feels to be told that your body is not worthy of being used for reproduction purposes. Add in race, and you’ve got an even bigger recipe for psychological distress.
Many people turn to sex therapists for help with their anxiety and depression. We can’t promote mental health without understanding how sexual health intersects with it.
Our industry is breaking through barriers and showing everyone that female empowerment is possible in all forms. Our social, educational, psychological, and spiritual development must highlight the voices of women, encourage female pleasure, and eliminate policies and practices that decenter female voices.
Annabelle Knight
Author and relationship and sex counsellor. Annabelle Knight Discusses the response of the sexual wellness industry to the sexual empowerment movements.
What is sexual wellbeing?
Sexual wellness refers to a state of mental and emotional well-being that surrounds sex and sexuality. It’s all about feeling comfortable in your own skin and promotes sexual happiness and contentment.
The principal goals of the industry of sexual wellness are to encourage self-acceptance and increase awareness about sexual health.
The evolution and importance of the sexual wellness industry
The growth of sex tech in the sexual wellness sector has been exponentially impressive over the past few years. This is partly why the industry is expected to reach $122 billion by 2024.
Worldwide, sex toys are growing in popularity due to the growth of the industry. Women are taking charge of their pleasure, and they don’t feel shame.
There are more products in development that aim to satisfy your sexual desires. They also offer safe sex and enhance sexual pleasure.
Diversity is crucial in the field of sexual wellness
The better it is for women of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ethnicities to join the conversation,
There are many aspects of the sexual health industry, and this diversity helps women feel accepted, valued and appreciated. Women are more vocal about their desires, and the industry of sexual wellness has listened.
You can have sexual wellness at your fingertips
Retailers are responding by offering a wider range of products under one roof, creating a seamless shopping experience. Boots now stock a variety of Lovehoney products. This means you can add a vibrator and shampoo to your shopping basket without visiting multiple stores.
This inclusive shopping experience also helps women feel more at ease in exploring their pleasure potential. The simple act of placing toys on the shelves next to magazines or beauty products simplifies the concept of toys.
There’s a certain circular idea to the sexual wellness industry in the fact that it promotes sexual confidence in women, women speak out about what they want, the sexual wellness industry responds by aiming to meet these needs, women feel listened to and more powerful, then speak out again!
It’s a beautiful, beneficial relationship between everyday women and an industry that tries so hard to help them.
Oloni
BBC Presenter Oloni is described as the ‘loudest megaphone for women’s sexual rights’. Here are her findings about how women have evolved. More During lockdown, sexually empowered
We’re having more adventurous sex
Lovehoney surveyed 2,000 women and found that 52% were trying new techniques and routines. 57% of women have shared sex texts, while a third enjoy video sex. Other popular activities include car sex, role play and writing erotica notes.
We use sex to improve mental well-being
Lovehoney research has shown that 87% women consider sex to be a stress reliever. 71% of women surveyed said sex makes their mind feel better, while 66% stated that sex contributes to overall happiness.
Going forward, the pandemic will increase sexual empowerment
71% said that they would continue their sex rituals after the crisis, which will improve sexual confidence and enhance overall fulfilment.
Technology has been used by women to enhance their empowerment
It could be as simple as having sex while they are apart via Facetime or Zoom.
App-controlled sex toys They are becoming more popular than ever because they enable couples to connect even if they live hundreds of miles apart.
We use sex to better communicate with our partners
62% said that sex has enhanced their intimacy with their partners. 63% of women said that they had good levels of sexual satisfaction.
Sex toys are being used by women to improve their overall well-being.
63% of women regularly use sexual toys as part their sexual routine. Research by one of the world’s leading neuroscientists Dr Nicole Prause, found that women enjoyed orgasms that were 17% longer when using a Lovehoney Happy Rabbit sex toy.
We are learning how to put quality before quantity
Due to the separation of many couples, lockdown has resulted in a decrease in sexual activity. 38% of women agreed that lockdown has made sex more enjoyable.
Masturbation has allowed women to find new ways of sexual fulfillment
44% masturbating during crisis has increased. Masturbation is used by women to find pleasure and share this information with their partners.
Self-confidence is on a rise
24% of respondents said that regular sex has made them feel more confident and self-esteem.
