Warning! This article discusses sexual trauma and abuse. This article may trigger you. Please be careful.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re more than familiar with the term “intercourse”. It might even bring back painful memories of conversations with your parents, healthcare provider or sex-ed teacher.
Based on this, you can probably guess what “outercourse” means. Outercourse is a term that refers to sexual activities which exclude penis in vagina penetrance.
There is no single definition of outercourse. Some people include oral and anal sex in that, while others don’t. For some, outercourse does not allow for any type of vaginal penetration.
Some people define outcourse as sexual activities that do not pose a risk of pregnancy.
The term is fairly common in the abstinence community, although the two aren’t necessarily interchangeable. Abstinence could refer to no sexual activity or certain acts of sexual penetration. This is where outercourse overlaps with abstinence.
Now that you got the low down on the pretty broad definition of what outercourse is, let’s see why someone might be interested in it, and some fun outcourse activities to add to your to-do list.
What are the benefits of outercourse?
If you’re into whatever outercourse activities you’re doing, and who you’re doing them with, one of the biggest benefits of outercourse is pleasure. We all love to feel good, and if outcourse helps you do that, then that’s reason enough to do it.
Outercourse also limits or completely eliminates the risk of pregnancy, depending on what you’re doing. Although there’s a really low chance, there is still the possibility of pregnancy if semen happens to be near your vaginal opening.
It doesn’t stop there. There are endless reasons why someone might want to enjoy sexual activities that don’t include penetration.
It helps with gender inclusion
Inclusive can refer to many things. But broadening your ideas and conversations around sexual activity will help you include more people into the conversation.
Inclusivity may refer to gender. When outercourse is used to include sexual partners, both of them have to have a vagina.
The outercourse can be used to break heteronormativity within the bedroom. Heteronormative sexuality is described as a linear sequence of kissing, foreplay, penis, vagina penetration and cuddling.
Normalizing outercourse activities as being the “main events” helps to expand people’s ideas of what their sex lives can look like, and where they can get pleasure from. Having said that, it’s also important to note that not all couples who have a penis and vagina are heterosexual.
It creates disability inclusion
Inclusivity can also include people with disabilities, whether or not they’re visible, which may affect their ability to have penetrative sex.
These conditions can affect the ability of people to have penetration sex. Penetrative sex can be difficult, painful, or impossible due to health issues such as endometriosis (vaginismus), ovarian cysts, and pelvic floor disorders.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, whether or not it’s from sexual trauma can prevent someone from wanting to have penetrative sex. There are more options for intimacy than what people feel comfortable with.
It also provides an opportunity for trauma survivors to have open discussions about their sexual and intimate boundaries. They can learn how to navigate these boundaries in a pleasant and satisfying way.
It’s More Enjoyable
It doesn’t matter if someone has any definable medical conditions. They don’t need to have further explanation than that if they don’t want to explore their reasoning.
For those who fit this description, Outercourse is a great option. Everyone deserves access to pleasure that’s enjoyable for them.
It allows you to be creative
Outercourse can help expand your definition of what you want in your sex life. Outercourse allows you to concentrate on what makes you happy, not just penetrative.
Exploring new sensations and expanding your creativity sexually opens up more possibilities.
Are STIs possible from outercourse?
Although you might be protected against pregnancy, there are still risks of contracting or giving birth. Sexually transmitted infection.
If your outercourse includes exchanging bodily fluids or skin-to-skin contact, this can still transmit STI’s like herpes and chlamydia, which is why it’s important to get tested regularly and use protection like condoms and dental dams when necessary.
Here are some ways to get your outercourse on
Now that you’ve got a general idea of what outercourse means, let’s take a look at what it might include.
Again, these are just general ideas that may or may not fit into an individual’s definition of outercourse.
- Kissing: Get your smooch on! Kissing and making out with your partner can be a wonderful way to make connections and get turned on.
- Cuddling: Being intimate with someone you love can make it so much more enjoyable
- Manual stimulation: The following methods allow you to have sexual pleasure without having to penetrate: handjobs, breast or chest stimulations, clit-rubbing and fingering Some people may allow finger penetration.
- Mutual Masturbation It can be very hot to watch your partner get along! This is a great opportunity to learn more about your sexual partner and show them what works best for you.
- Sex Toys Sex toys Anal plugs and vibrators are fun ways to discover new sensations.
- Oral Sex This is how it works. Oral stimulation doesn’t have to stop at genitals. You can use it to stimulate your genitals, inner thighs and feet, neck or any other area you desire.
- Dry Humping The technical term for this one is “frottage”. Dry humping, or the act of humping with your clothes on doesn’t get enough credit. If you’re just wearing underwear keep in mind that there is still a slight possibility of STI transmission.
- Dirty talk: Talk about a clever linguist! Talk about your dirty laundry and you’ll be able to get along without touching each other.
- Massage: A sensual massage is a great way to turn into your partner’s body and needs.
- Penis Thrusting: A penis thrusting in one’s thighs or breasts may be included in their definition of outercourse.
Outercourse: The Bottom Line
Each individual can decide what sex is for them. This definition may include outercourse. They can choose how and why they engage in sexual activities.
We’re advocates for anything that brings both parties (or more) pleasure and is done with enthusiastic Consent.
Natasha is a full-strength doula and a creator of reproductive health content. She also works as a consultant in sexual wellness. Her work helps people feel more joy, softness and sensuality by removing shame, stigma, as well as the stigma surrounding sex and birth. Natasha.S.weiss can be reached via IG.