Usually, when it’s time to get frisky, we tend to get so excited that we just rush through the whole experience and be done in less than ten minutes.
Sometimes, the quick and dirty “Bham wham, thank you, ma’am” type of sex is hot and works wonders when you just want to release some tension.
But, if you’re looking to experience the most intense orgasms in your life and connect with your partner on a more intimate level, slow sex is exactly what you need.
So what exactly is slow sex?
Slow sex can be described as a simple concept. It’s all about slowing down during sex and focusing on truly experiencing all the sensations with your partner.
Slow sensual sex requires you to be mindful and aware of your and your partner’s actions, listen to your bodies and truly feel all the small pleasures without the rush to the big O.
People who are passionate about slow, deep sex love that it can take hours to literally days. It builds that sexual tension for later, allowing them to experience a truly amazing release.
The roots of slow sex are in tantra and orgasmic meditation, but it’s less focused on the complexities of meditation and more on simply being present with your partner.
Why bother with slow sex?
There are many reasons to try slow sex.
Some people might seek a deeper connection with their partners or a way to get closer to them. Slow sensual sex can be a great way to do it, as most people feel like it’s more romantic than regular sex.
When you’re not focusing on reaching the big O as fast as you can, you also tend to relax more which can also increase the overall happiness in your life.
Stress is a killer of libido, but the hormones released by your brain during sex can help combat it. It can be difficult to find the right mindset for sex, and enjoy it. Slow sex is a great option.
It is possible to relax by getting into the act slowly, and with lots of sensual touch, kissing, and kissing.
Slow sex can bring in some fresh air and help to relax. People tend to rush in life, dealing with work and personal life issues–it’s always about solving issues and moving on as quickly as possible on to the next thing.
It can be difficult to have daily sex with your partner. You might feel the same, so you look for external ways to make it more fun and exciting.
Instead of focusing on different positions, sex games, and even changing partners, it’s worth giving deep, slow sex a try. Simple sensations and thoughts can be as thrilling as external stimulation in the bedroom.
Closing the Orgasm Gap
Another reason to try is To close the orgasm gap, slow sex can be part of your routine.
It’s common knowledge that men tend to orgasm more often during sex than women do. It’s a fact that According to the research95% of heterosexual males engage in sexual sex while heterosexual women only 65%.
The orgasm gap, or so-called “the pleasure gap,” shows that it usually takes around 5 minutes for men to orgasm but 15 minutes or more for women.
This phenomenon is only found between heterosexual partners. The phenomenon is only valid between heterosexual couples. researchers polled gay or lesbian relationships, the numbers are closer together–89% of gay men orgasm during sex, and even a whopping 86% of lesbian women orgasm during sex.
A lack of foreplay during sex is one reason why there is an orgasm gap. Here is where slow, intimate sex comes in.
Slow sex is when you are able to concentrate on the sensations and foreplay of sex without experiencing sexual release. Because the sex lasts longer, this can help women feel more sexually stimulated and have a greater chance of having an orgasm.
How to Incorporate Slow Sex into Your Life
Slow sensual sex can have many benefits and greatly improve your sex experience.
If you’re curious and itching to try it with your partner, here are the best tips and things to try:
Before you even get to the bedroom, start.
Before you put your penis in your vagina, sex begins before you even get out of bed. It starts in your head when you decide that it’s time to get frisky, and a lot of tension can build way ahead of time before you even take off your clothes.
Start by scheduling slow sex. It might not sound sexy right now, but when the time comes, people usually tend to rush things because they just don’t have enough time for sex.
Make sure to add time for slow sex on your calendar. Why? It will remind you to not rush and push yourself. Just as the name suggests, slow sex will provide you with an experience that will last, and last…
Also, you will have a reminder on your calendar for some sexy time, and you can steal away a minute or two from work, fantasizing in your head what you’ll be doing when the time comes for some sexy time with your partner.
Planning slow sex can add tension and anticipation–so, don’t knock it till you try it.
Change your mindset
Our brain is the most powerful sex organ. If you are able to focus on the right mindset, you can dramatically improve your sexual experience.
That’s the whole point of deep, slow sex, really–changing your mindset to what sex is. It’s not about who’s the best or who’s going to get to the finish line faster, and honestly, it’s not even about getting to the finish line at all.
Consider sex as a journey to pleasure. It’s a way to connect with your partner and be present.
Yes, it’s not easy keeping your mind focused on the present 100% of the time. It might be difficult at first, and you may not feel great. You can practice and it will get easier.
Slow sex is a great way to have fun. It’s important to be open to trying new things.
There are many ways to improve your foreplay, and make it last more. You will be blown away by slow, longer foreplay.
We sometimes skip the foreplay during regular sex or the heat of the moment and explore the possibilities. You just want to get it on!
But slowing down and taking the time to kiss each other, caress, and explore each other’s bodies is a great way to enhance the pleasure.
Begin by getting naked with your partner. It will be more exciting and intense if you have skin-to-skin contact. Let yourself relax and enjoy the moment.
Run your fingers down your partner’s spine. Use your touch to explore their bodies. Get to know parts of their body you usually don’t get to on You should do this on a regular basis.
This is the place to bring in silk scarves, feathers, or ice cubes to try on your partner. It’s all about experimentation and making each other tingle with excitement and pleasure.
Edging or also known by orgasm control is another fantastic thing to do while you are having slow sex.
You will both feel more sexually active if you bring each other to the brink of orgasm, and then back down again and again. When you reach the big O, your sexual experiences will become more intense.
It’s an activity that’s usually overlooked, because who has the time, right?
A slow session of sex is the best way for you to test it out, and then see how intense it makes your orgasms.
Just don’t be naughty–it might be hard to keep yourself from cumming, when you’re excited and itching for a release. But don’t let yourself rush into orgasm before you got to experience everything slow sex has to offer.
Dry humping is when you grind your sexual parts on your partner’s body without penetration.
Don’t underestimate this activity, leaving it for teenagers only. This can be a fun, pleasurable part of your slow sex experiment.
You’re naked in bed, your bodies are tingling with the sensations, and your limbs are all tangled together. There will be times when you’ll want to pull your partner closer, press into them, and the action of rubbing yourselves together can add to the tension build-up.
Just like any slow sex activity, the goal here isn’t to orgasm by humping one another, but to enhance the entire sexual experience and all the sensations running through your body.
Don’t Be Afraid To Be Vocal About Your Sensations
Your partner may find it very annoying to moan, groan, whisper, or make other noises during slow sex.
Now is the right time to show your significant other how much love you have for them. It’s the perfect time to connect with your partner and deepen your connection.
Not everyone is vocal during sex, and that’s OK.
But if you’re feeling like you’re exploding with sensation, don’t hold back the moans and groans. You’ll be a great partner.
Sex Toys – Incorporate Sex Toys
These toys can be used for more than just private sex sessions. You can use them for slow sex with your partner.
You can practice slow sex even without external stimulation. You can bring in toys as you become more proficient at the practice.
Sex toys can really help with edging because sometimes fingers or your mouth just don’t do it. You might just want to try something new.
SILA is perfect for the times when you want to pleasure your partner with a toy but don’t want something too intense that will bring them to the orgasm too quickly.
That’s not the point of slow sex after all!
This toy It offers gentle sonic waves to stimulate the clit, and provide mind-blowing sensations for deep sensual sex.
You could also consider incorporating sex toys such as blindfolds or handcuffs. They’re kinky but innocent enough to not scare your partner if you’re new to sexual experimentation and can make things more exciting.
You see, when one sense is lost, the others are more prominent and you can discover a whole new world of sensations.
Karolina Wilde works as a writer about sexual wellness. Her work has been published by The Ascent and P.S. She has published work on I Love You and Sexography to over 25,000+ people. She can be found podcasting, reading or creating TikTok videos during her free time.